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Bribing Your Way Out of Sticky Situations

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On occasion, we would see an Abercrombie and Kent Land Rover drive by with its passengers wearing matching A&K safari hats and drinking Fanta soda. Once, I jokingly asked our guide Njau when we would be receiving our sodas and safari-wear but he just stared at me with a perplexed look on his face, perhaps due to his limited grasp of the English language.

Towards the end of the third day, our tour van had stopped at a viewpoint to look at a herd of elephants. As is common throughout national parks in Kenya, there was an anti-poaching guard posted nearby in a small, but official, shack.

The Dutch man was rampantly taking pictures as though we had not seen at least a hundred elephants over the past three days and at one point, he appeared to be pointing the camera in the direction of the guard’s shack. Immediately, the guard ran out of his “office” and freaked out.

He began screaming that it was illegal to take pictures of the anti-poaching soldiers, waved his rather large gun about, and threatened to call the proper authorities to take the Dutch man to jail.

While this was occurring, I sneakily took a photo of the dispute from a short distance away— it was risky, I know but it was a Kodak moment I couldn’t resist. Plus, I was reasonably sure I could get away with since the guard was preoccupied with the Dutch guy.

After what seemed like an eternity of the guard and the Dutch guy going back and forth with “You’re going to jail” and “What for? I didn’t do anything,” I figured it was time to step up.

Never having been faced with this problem before, but having seen lots of movies, I simply smiled and said, “Sir, this man is very sorry to have offended you. What can we do to fix this situation?”

The guard looked at me and with a sneer replied, “There is nothing you can do, and he must go to jail.” I figured it couldn’t hurt to try again so I said, “There must be something we can do to fix this situation. Please, we want to make it right.”

The guard stood silent for a few moments and then quietly offered a suggestion, “I am not saying that you should give me a gift, but if you would like to give me a gift, that would help.”

At first I pretended not to understand, but eventually acquiesced. I had a wad of Kenyan Shillings in my pocket and offered it the guard. It was about 200 Ksh, approximately $4 USD. Oddly enough, this pittance seemed to appease him and he retreated to his guard shack.

As you might expect, this sort of occurrence does not help promote the tourism industry in countries like Kenya. As a result, there is growing acknowledgment in third-world countries of the damaging effects of bribery and consequently some countries are attempting to change their image.

For example, on October 7, 2003, Peter Eigen, the Chairman of Transparency International stated “President Mwai Kibaki of Kenya, who is meeting US President George Bush today, is the new leader of a country that has been devastated by corruption. He has made the fight against corruption a major priority, but the task is an enormous one. To turn Kenya into a country where corruption is not the order of the day requires sustained commitment at both the national and international level, both in terms of financial resources and practical support.”

Bribery for Dummies

While many countries are attempting to reduce the corruption that lies within its ranks, it is likely that if you are a global traveler, you will encounter it at some point. Though there is no prescribed routine when you are presented with a bribery situation, there is a certain protocol that is most effective.

First of all, just like they say in the deodorant commercial, never let them see you sweat. This means that no matter what happens, have a positive attitude and happy demeanor. It also helps to keep talking. This will allow the conversation to naturally flow into the topic of a payoff— if that’s what the official is indeed aiming for.

Secondly, it is essential that you remain cool and composed. Just like in dating, desperation will not get you anywhere.

Lastly, do not offer money outright. It is best to ask something like “What can we do to fix this problem?” Eventually, if the official is looking to be bribed, an amount will be settled on and you will have secured the deal.

Ultimately, while bribery is a bit unseemly and may even encourage corrupt officials to continue their unofficial quest for gifts, sometimes it is necessary to avoid an unpleasant encounter with the local correctional facility.

 

Amy Loftsgordon is a contributing editor at InsideOut Travel Magazine and works as a lawyer in Colorado, though she much prefers airports to courtrooms.

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